Lemon Pie Failure

Lest you look at this blog and start inaptly using the word "gourmet," here are some pictures of my recent lemon pie failure and a bit of background on what inspired me to make it. 

A few weeks ago, I went to San Fran with these cool nerds:

And tried a few very inventive pies at this aptly named shop:

Including an apple and green chile pie, which was a fun little culinary adventure (despite the fact that I love green chiles, I still think it's sacrilege to adulterate the Classic Apple). And this raspberry and nectarine pie:

The bakers did not bother peeling the nectarines, so the pie was a bit of a disappointment.

And bought matching hats with my sister, because why bother pretending we're not complete dorks (despite her high-school-cheerleader blondeness)?

And to finally get to the point, got some lovely Meyer lemons from a tree in my friend's backyard. I felt inspired to make a lemon pie, even though I've consistently failed in my attempts to make it.  When I was 11 or 12, I first attempted to make lemon meringue pie. It was a disaster but led to one of my best childhood memories. The pie came out of the oven an unappetizing shade of brown. Nevertheless, my dad enthusiastically ate a virtually inedible slice of pie, insisting it was quite delicious. What a supportive father.   

Anyway, I'm not going to bother posting the whole recipe because it was a disaster. I used a food network recipe, but I should have known better. I don't think they vet their recipes. The lemon curd was made with whole eggs rather than egg yolks; despite my misgivings about this, I foolishly made this recipe anyway. In my limited experience making cream or curd pies, the filling includes only egg yolks. 

I zested three lemons.

And juiced six lemons, until I had about 3/4 of a cup of lemon juice.

Then mixed the lemon juice and zest with five eggs, 1 1/3 cups of sugar, and a pinch of salt.

And whisked it together. I felt pretty confident at this point because it looked and smelled lovely.

Then whisked the ingredients in a saucepan over medium-low heat, adding 1 1/2 sticks of butter, 1 tablespoon at a time, until it thickened.

And then I got really excited because it looked like this:

Then I placed it in a 300 degree oven. According to the recipe, it was supposed to set up in 15 minutes. The filling would not set up at all. I left it in the oven for an hour, checking periodically. By the time it finally set up, the top had burned, so it came out looking like this:

I was so bummed that the pie burned, in part because making this pie was my idea of a fun Saturday night. Somehow I convinced myself that I'm not completely lame because at least I was listening to good music - the Brand New Heavies. 

One of my former collegues says I will not be a real baker until I can successfully make a lemon pie.  I will do it...one of these days. 

Black and Gold Pie (Fail) and Good News!

I'm having a great week, even though it was 108 degrees the other day, which made me feel a tinge murderous. The blog reached 1,000 pageviews (thank you, Ryan, for viewing my blog 1,000 times - you must be very sad not to be here to try my pies). More importantly, I got a job! And I don't start until the end of July, so I have time to dash off to Scotland for a couple of weeks to beat the heat, have an adventure, and maybe try some meat pies.  

When I was waiting anxiously to hear whether I got the job, I decided to try a new recipe in order to take my mind off the worry. The idea was a black and gold pie - blackberry and peach - as a nod to my alma mater, Mizzou. This was an ill-conceived idea from the get-go because the filling turned out magenta. Color problem aside, the filling didn't taste as good as I had hoped. I don't think the blackberries complemented the peaches very well. A plain old peach pie would have been much better (peach is my favorite pie - mmmmmm). Compounding the problem, I tried a butter crust for the first time, and it was an utter failure. 

I used the same recipe that I normally use for crust but simply replaced the shortening with butter. I cut in cold butter using the pastry blender, and the texture turned out very promising.

Things were looking good, but I got to talking to my brother on the phone and let this sit out for too long, so the butter was no longer cold when I added the egg. Consequently, the crust wasn't flaky enough. Butter is finicky; it is much easier to blend shortening, which does not have to be kept cold. 

I tried rolling it out in wax paper, which didn't actually make things any easier. Rolling butter dough is difficult because it becomes sticky as it gets warmer. I overworked the dough, so it ended up being chewy when I baked it. Pie dough fail!

I peeled nine peaches using the method seen here, then sliced them into one-inch wedges. 

Then I mixed the peaches with a pint of blackberries, 4 tablespoons of cornstarch, 3/4 cup of sugar, the juice from 1 small lemon, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. The filling ended up with a cornstarchy (yep, that's a word) texture. Four tablespoons of cornstarch was too much; it made for a weird texture and yet the filling didn't set up properly. The filling was extremely juicy after letting it stand for 15 minutes, and I added all the liquid. My mom made a peach pie the same day, using two tablespoons of cornstarch but did not add all the juice. Instead she used a slotted spoon to add the filling to the pan. Her filling set up properly; mine was too soupy.  

Then I dotted it with two tablespoons of butter and made this lovely lattice crust.

I brushed it with egg whites and sprinkled the top with sugar. It turned out quite beautiful. But this pie was like a vapid, pretty girl - all looks and no substance. 

In keeping with my theme, I shared the pie with my favorite Mizzou girls. But I felt bad giving them pie that wasn't as tasty as I'd hoped. 

Lovely college besties - Jenny (left) and Erin (right)

It was probably a C- outcome, but I'm a perfectionist, so I consider it a pie fail. But the idea of this blog is to keep track of the successes and failures. Trial and error!