Lemon Pie Failure

Lest you look at this blog and start inaptly using the word "gourmet," here are some pictures of my recent lemon pie failure and a bit of background on what inspired me to make it. 

A few weeks ago, I went to San Fran with these cool nerds:

And tried a few very inventive pies at this aptly named shop:

Including an apple and green chile pie, which was a fun little culinary adventure (despite the fact that I love green chiles, I still think it's sacrilege to adulterate the Classic Apple). And this raspberry and nectarine pie:

The bakers did not bother peeling the nectarines, so the pie was a bit of a disappointment.

And bought matching hats with my sister, because why bother pretending we're not complete dorks (despite her high-school-cheerleader blondeness)?

And to finally get to the point, got some lovely Meyer lemons from a tree in my friend's backyard. I felt inspired to make a lemon pie, even though I've consistently failed in my attempts to make it.  When I was 11 or 12, I first attempted to make lemon meringue pie. It was a disaster but led to one of my best childhood memories. The pie came out of the oven an unappetizing shade of brown. Nevertheless, my dad enthusiastically ate a virtually inedible slice of pie, insisting it was quite delicious. What a supportive father.   

Anyway, I'm not going to bother posting the whole recipe because it was a disaster. I used a food network recipe, but I should have known better. I don't think they vet their recipes. The lemon curd was made with whole eggs rather than egg yolks; despite my misgivings about this, I foolishly made this recipe anyway. In my limited experience making cream or curd pies, the filling includes only egg yolks. 

I zested three lemons.

And juiced six lemons, until I had about 3/4 of a cup of lemon juice.

Then mixed the lemon juice and zest with five eggs, 1 1/3 cups of sugar, and a pinch of salt.

And whisked it together. I felt pretty confident at this point because it looked and smelled lovely.

Then whisked the ingredients in a saucepan over medium-low heat, adding 1 1/2 sticks of butter, 1 tablespoon at a time, until it thickened.

And then I got really excited because it looked like this:

Then I placed it in a 300 degree oven. According to the recipe, it was supposed to set up in 15 minutes. The filling would not set up at all. I left it in the oven for an hour, checking periodically. By the time it finally set up, the top had burned, so it came out looking like this:

I was so bummed that the pie burned, in part because making this pie was my idea of a fun Saturday night. Somehow I convinced myself that I'm not completely lame because at least I was listening to good music - the Brand New Heavies. 

One of my former collegues says I will not be a real baker until I can successfully make a lemon pie.  I will do it...one of these days. 

Peach Dumplings

Because I'm burning a lot of calories climbing that steep learning curve at my new job, I decided it was ok for me to make peach dumplings the same week I made a peach pie. Don't judge me; after all, you're the one reading a blog about pie...

I made these a few weeks ago. A lot of use this recipe is to you now that it's no longer peach season.  My official excuse is that my seven-year-old laptop finally crapped out. Shock! I have one on loan now while I contemplate the existential first-world question: to iPad or not to iPad? 

I might as well post this now anyway because I need to work out a lot of kinks when it comes to dumplings, be they peach or apple or any other filling. These are very difficult to make and quite possibly not worth the effort.  But here you go.

First, make this tried-and-true pie crust. Then gather up six peaches, sugar, butter, salt, flour, one egg and one lemon. Leave the butter out to soften while you peel the peaches like this.



In a small bowl, mix with a fork 1/2 a stick of unsalted butter that is room temperature or slightly softened, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/4 teaspoon salt and the juice from half a lemon until it looks like this:

Then roll out the dough and trim it into a large rectangle that is roughly 12 x 18 inches.

Then brush the dough with one beaten egg.

Cut the peaches in half, then smear (that's a technical term) a half with the delightfully naughty butter-sugar-lemon mixture, and while you're at it, fill the center of the peach with it - because you're making peach dumplings, so you're obviously badass like that. 

And cut a square around the peach that looks big enough for you to be able to do this:

I don't purport to know the correct dimensions; just do what seems right.  Then pinch the top together.  I used two forks, so it looked like a stegosaurus. (I kind of want to high five myself Liz Lemon style for making a dinosaur reference).

And press the sides together, until it looks passable. I'm not going to lie, most of these turned out looking like a kindergartener made them. (They looked so bad, I left them anonymously in the kitchen at work. They were all gone by 11 a.m., so I think they were a hit.) 

Poke a few holes in the dumplings, place them in a generously buttered baking dish about 1-2 inches apart and put them in a 425 degree oven.

Now that you're thoroughly discouraged by your inability to make something worthy of Pinterest, make this syrup so that you can slather the dumplings with it. This will make them nice and shiny and distract from the fact that Martha Stewart would judge you for being a failure at womanhood. (Or maybe yours will turn out perfect, and it is just I who am a failure.)  

Place in a saucepan 1 cup of water, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 teaspoon salt, 2 tablespoons butter and the remainder of the lemon, sliced. Bring to a boil and boil for 5 minutes. Simmer, and brush the dumplings with the syrup once the dumplings begin to brown and every 10 minutes after that. 

Bake for 20 minutes, check, continue baking at 425 if the crust is not golden brown. Continue checking every 10 minutes or so. When the crust is brown, reduce the heat to 350 and continue baking for 15-20 minutes. (These took about 25 minutes on 425 and 25 minutes on 350. I think because peaches are naturally soft unlike baking apples, baking them at 425 for 30-40 minutes or until the crust is brown is sufficient.) When you remove them from the oven, continue periodically brushing them with syrup as they cool. 

This was the most blog-worthy dumpling.  Some of the pictures bordered on NSFW.  They reminded me of Randy singing "Cafeteria Fraiche."

These were virtually impossible to keep intact. This recipe is a variation on an apple dumpling recipe, and I think peaches are just too juicy for this to work.  Apples, however, would be perfect (if you decide to use apples, add 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon to the butter mixture and the syrup and leave out the lemon).

Peach Dumplings

Make this crust. 

Filling:

6 small peaches

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 stick butter

1 egg 
Juice from half a lemon

Syrup:

1 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
Half a lemon, sliced

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Set the butter out to allow it to warm to room temperature.  Meanwhile, peel peaches and cut them in half, set aside. Mix butter, sugar, salt and lemon juice with a fork and set aside. Roll the dough into a large rectangle and brush with one beaten egg. Take one peach half, fill the center with the butter mixture and spread the butter on the outside of the peach. Place the peach on the dough and cut a square around it, then fold the dough and pinch the top together. Put the dumpling in a buttered dish and bake for 20 minutes at 425, then 20 more on 350, checking periodically.

While these begin to brown, put 1 cup of water, 1/2 a cup of sugar, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 2 tablespoons unsalted butter and half of a sliced lemon in a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Boil for 5 minutes and reduce to a simmer. When the dumplings are light brown, brush with the syrup, and continue brushing every 10 minutes as they bake and once you remove them from the oven as they cool.

Of course, these are delightful with ice cream. Share and enjoy!

Geeky Pies

13 Deliciously Geeky Pies

Classic Peach

Those of you who know me know that I loathe summer. Oh how I detest the long, muggy days and blinding sunlight; how I dream of cooler climates (I even stop Blaming Canada and fantasize about retreating up there). Many times I have said that the only good thing about summer in St. Louis is the peaches. Save the rare cool day that gives you a whiff of fall and reminds you that there is an end in sight, peaches are the best thing about the long, hot Midwestern summer.  

So last week I got half a peck of peaches at the farmers' market. That is entirely too many peaches for one person, so I had to make two different kinds of peach treats in one week. This is the first - classic peach pie.

You will notice in the picture below that there are few ingredients in my peach pie - just white sugar, salt, tapioca (or cornstarch or flour), butter and a touch of lemon juice. The flavor of the peaches is so bright, so delicious that it should not be muddied by any spices. In fact, I wouldn't even use brown sugar in this pie. Cinnamon and nutmeg certainly have no business being in a peach pie. Not even a hint of either is appropriate, despite what the smittenkitchen writer says. Not only do they not enhance the peach flavor, but they are classic fall spices that are out of place in a summer pie. (Don't get me wrong, cinnamon has its place. I tried an apple pie in Scotland that contained no spices, and it screamed for a dash of cinnamon). 

Anyway, I turned on Matthew Sweet's 'Girlfriend' and got to work. By the way, thanks, Ryan, for recommending a bittersweet album. You really know what's right for someone feeling a bit down. Jerk.

Not pictured: one small lemon

 First, I peeled 12 small peaches (equivalent to 9-10 large peaches) in the manner seen here.

Then I mixed the peaches with 1/2 cup sugar, 3 tablespoons tapioca, 1/8 teaspoon salt, and 1 teaspoon lemon juice. In this instance, I used tapioca, which I have not used much in the past, having instead opted for cornstarch. While I disagree with the smittenkitchen writer about cinnamon, she is correct about tapioca. She suggests you grind it in a coffee grinder before adding it to the filling. This will allow for a somewhat runnier filling than if you leave the beads intact. I agree that the filling in this pie was too gelatinous; peach pie should have a slightly runnier quality because peaches are so delightfully juicy. I want my classic pies like this one to seem as if they could have been made by my great-great-grandmother. They do not have to form perfect slices. So I recommend cornstarch in lieu of tapioca or, as I said, grinding the tapioca.

Besides, the tapioca beads don't exactly look appetizing, especially if I'm going for blog-worthy pictures.

Next I rolled out my pie crust.

Once the filling had been sitting for 15 minutes, I poured it (along with all the juice) in the dough-lined pie dish and dotted it with 2 tablespoons of butter.

 Then I made a lattice crust, brushed it with egg whites, and sprinkled it with a few teaspoons of sugar.

I always cover the edges of a pie with this type of crust because it tends to burn

I baked it at 425 degrees for 30 minutes, reduced the heat to 350 and baked for an additional 30 minutes.

So the crust developed a delightful crunch on top, and the filling was nice 'n bubbly.

See how this is not runny at all?

Notice the gelatinous quality of the filling.

Peach Pie

The day before, make the crust seen here.

Filling:

9-10 or about 2 lbs of peaches
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons minute tapioca, cornstarch or flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Peel the peaches and slice them into 1/2-inch thick slices. Mix in sugar, tapioca or cornstarch, salt, and lemon juice. Set aside for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile roll out pie dough. Line the bottom of the pie dish with the dough and pour in the peach filling. Dot with 2 tablespoons of butter. Roll out the remaining dough and cover the pie with either a pricked top or lattice crust.

Bake at 425 for 30 minutes (this will bake the crust; it should be lightly brown after 30 minutes). Reduce temperature to 350 (to finish cooking the filling) and continue baking 30-45 minutes or until filling is bubbly.

Set aside for at least three hours or overnight before serving.

Share and enjoy!

Tried-and-true Pie Crust

This post is for you, Kelsey. The recipe is simple and always garners compliments. Consequently, I haven't tried many variations on it. Why mess with vinegar or cold butter when I know this one's a winner?

There are very few ingredients: 1 cup vegetable shortening, 2 cups flour, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon baking powder, 1 egg, and a touch of water.  (I noticed the store now carries butter-flavored vegetable shortening. I'm tempted to try it, but I loathe any artificial flavoring. Has anyone tried it before?).  

Add 1/4 teaspoon of salt to 2 cups of flour.

And add 1/4 teaspoon baking powder. The baking powder gives the crust a flakier quality and makes the dough a little more forgiving of being overworked.

Stir the flour mixture with a fork, then drop in the shortening.

Now comes the fun part! Set aside your pastry blender and mix the shortening and flour with your hands. By rubbing the mixture between your thumb and fingers, it will start to develop a cornmeal-like texture.

The mixture doesn't have to be perfectly uniform as long as the shortening is broken into small pieces.

Next, break an egg into a measuring cup and add cold water until it reaches 1/2 a cup.

And beat the egg mixture with a fork.

Then pour it over the flour mixture.

And mix it gently with your hands until all of the flour is wet and it forms into a ball. It's important not to overmix the dough here. You want the small beads of shortening to remain intact because they create the flaky layers when you roll it out.

Then wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. It really needs to be refrigerated overnight. Despite what cookbooks say, three hours is not enough.

Pie Crust

This is my mom's recipe. The recipe says it makes three single crusts, but I think it's more like two and a half or enough for one deep-dish pie.

2 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup shortening
1 egg

Add salt and baking powder to flour, mix
Cut in shortening until the mixture resembles cornmeal or a coarse meal, set aside
Break egg into measure cup
Add cold water until it reaches 1/2 a cup, mix
Add egg/water mixture to flour mixture and mix gently until it all holds together
Form into a ball, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight

When you roll it out, use lots of flour on the rolling pin and surface.

Banana Cream Pie

This is my I'm-about-to-start-a-new-job banana cream pie. I also made this to allay my post-vacation depression. And because I have the new iPod, which happily contains a Bananarama record (really, how could I resist?). "Cruel Summer" perfectly captures my mood at the moment because it is so miserably hot here and I'm sadly missing someone far away. And did I mention Bananarama is super British? 

I'm not sure why I always double recipes - I don't need one pie, let alone two. However, this week, having an extra pie in my refrigerator was fortuitous (who has made-from-scratch pies just lying around with no one to eat them? Seriously.) I gave it to the x-ray techs who gave me a free x-ray on my foot, which I suspected I broke hiking in Scotland. Turns out it's just a stress fracture, and I'm a giant wuss. Whoops. Pie in exchange for the pointless use of medical resources seems like a fair trade, right? I think they got the better end of the deal because this pie was delicious.  

I bought two different pie crusts, but only got to try the graham cracker.

First, I separated ten eggs (for 2 pies).

I really tried to keep them all intact. But I'm a failure at food blogging.

Then I whisked together in a saucepan 1 1/3 cups of sugar, 1/2 cup cornstarch, and 1/2 a teaspoon of salt, and gradually whisked in 5 cups of whole milk.  

Then vigorously whisked in 10 large egg yolks until no yellow streaks remained. And brought it to a simmer over medium heat, stirring constantly with a heatproof rubber spatula until it got thick. This took about 40 minutes, in part because I doubled the recipe and in part because I was overly cautious about burning the custard.  

Then I removed it from the heat, scraped the sides of the saucepan, and whisked vigorously 
with my noodle arms until smooth (I count this as a workout). 

Then returned it to the heat until it simmered and whisked it for one minute. I removed it from the heat and whisked in 3 teaspoons of vanilla and 5 tablespoons of unsalted butter, cut into small pieces. There was a lot of whisking involved in the making of this pie.  

Next, I sliced six bananas into about 1/4 inch thick slices.

Then I layered 1/3 of the filling into the pie tins and artfully arranged a layer of banana slices atop it. 

And added another layer of filling and another Martha Stewart layer of banana slices.

And another…

So that 1/3 of the filling was reserved for a top layer.

Then I covered it with plastic wrap and refrigerated it overnight. (Don't worry - the plastic wrap doesn't stick.)  

The next day, I turned on some Kylie Minogue, because I just spent two weeks listening to Nick Drake and 10,000 Maniacs while staring out of train windows at the rainy coasts of Scotland. Some days you just need some throwback slutty pop.  

And I made some stabilized whipped cream, which was a first. It's just whipped cream with gelatin in it that prevents it from going flat.

I poured 2 tablespoons of cold water over 1 teaspoon of unflavored gelatin in a heat-proof glass and let it sit for 5 minutes. 

Then I placed the cup in simmering water until the gelatin melted.

Once it melted, I set it aside to cool.

Meanwhile...

I put 2 cups of heavy cream into the wonderful KitchenAid mixer and turned it on medium-high speed. And while it mixed added 4 tablespoons of sugar and 1 teaspoon of vanilla. As the cream began to thicken, I added the cooled gelatin.

Which actually gave the whipped cream a weird consistency visually; although, it tasted smooth.

And grated some dark chocolate over the top to make it look fancy without the additional work and fuss of piping the whipped cream on.

Banana Cream Pie (makes 1 pie - adapted from The Joy of Cooking)

1 premade graham cracker crust (or Nilla Wafer crust, which I imagine is delicious)

Filling:

2/3 cup sugar

1/4 cup cornstarch

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 1/2 cups whole milk

5 large egg yolks

2-3 tablespoons of butter, cut into small pieces

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla 

3 almost ripe bananas, sliced 1/4 inch thick

Whisk in a medium-heavy saucepan until well blended the sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Gradually whisk in the milk. Vigorously whisk in the egg yolks until no yellow streaks remain. Stirring constantly with a heatproof rubber spatula, bring to a simmer over medium heat until it thickens. Remove from heat, scrape the pan, and whisk until smooth. Return to heat, whisking constantly, bring to a simmer, and cook for 1 minute. Remove from heat and whisk in butter and vanilla.  

Layer 1/3 of the filling into the crust, top with a layer of banana slices, top with another 1/3 of the filling, and repeat. 

Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.  

Whipped Cream:

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 tablespoon cold water

1/2 teaspoon unflavored gelatin

Pour the cold water over the gelatin in a heatproof glass and set aside for 5 minutes. Bring water to a simmer in a saucepan and place the glass in the saucepan until the gelatin melts. Set aside to cool. Mix heavy cream on medium-high heat, adding sugar and vanilla as you go. As it thickens, add the gelatin. 

Spread the whipped cream over the pies and top with grated dark chocolate if you're so inclined.

Share & enjoy!